Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
notes from above ground seven
Dear Sir,
Frieda, Gertie, and I closed the Coughing Dog, the other
night, We really had a blast. The happy hour just never seemed
to end. We just had fun reminiscing about our good old days
when the trout just seemed to leap into the frying pan, and
there was a chick in every pot, yum yum. We had a special
laugh thinking about our rodeo when you tied little Johnny
unto the back of that young bull, and it took off through the
woods, and all we ever found were bits of his clothes, and
blood stained trees. It seems like nowadays people don’t know
how to entertain themselves anymore. It all has to be done
for them and then wrapped up in five pieces of plastic and
Spoon-fed to them with lots of sugar, with a liberal
sprinkling of violence, extravagant special effects and loads
of pulsating flesh. Then the whole kit and caboodle is so
tightly wrapped up with enticing child proof caps that a lust
crazed gorilla couldn’t open. Then it’s all painted up with
bright colors and shapes that will seduce and entice a child
in such a way that that child will make that lust crazed
gorilla look like the queen mother herself at the most elegant
tea party. Seems no matter where I start, I always end up
talking about something completely different. I read an
article in the paper the other day about some lady who killed
her husband of sixteen years and in order to dispose of the
body she had cut the poor devil up and was charcoaling him.
The police caught her as she was barbecuing his forearm. I
found myself wondering whether or not she used the spit, what
kind of charcoal she used or what type of seasonings. I guess
we taste a lot like chicken,yum, yum. That babe at the other
end of the bar at the coughing dog sure had a lot of white
meat on her bones. ha ha. Keep in touch.
Truly Yours,
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
notes from above ground 6
Dear Sir,
Well they had to evacuate the whole camp this afternoon
because of a bomb threat. Unfortunately it was just that, a
threat. The Horseman’s Ball was a huge success. I was
invited, and wore my new uniform which I trimmed up with
crocheted collars and hand sewed epaulets. A little sewing
here, a cut there and viola, Fredrichs of DeKalb. I thought
it was a costume Ball ala Mardi Gras, so came as Medusa. It
wasn't a costume ball, but was Fancy dress. Well even so, the
adders were a big hit. I had taken the precaution of having
their poison sacs removed, but no one else knew that. They
still could give you a good nip though. Their fangs are like
razors. I had one hell of a time keeping them on my head for
even a short while. I had superglued their tails together.
That is one terrific glue. Well they fell off right in the
middle of the blue skirt waltz, and all of those snakes tried
to take off in a different direction which resulted in a lot of
hissing and biting of each other and anyone else that was
near. Finally six of them started off with a common goal
dragging a few resistors. They disappeared into the bell of a
band member’s tuba which got dropped in the melee. Well you can
bet one musician is going to be in for a surprise when they
drain the spit out of their instrument. Everyone was pretty
angry with me, and I was so mortified that I fled the whole
affair losing one of my new slippers in the haste of my
departure. I had such difficulty finding my size too, size six
triple E width. Almost perfect, perfectly round. My last
pair I had bronzed and made into an umbrella stand. Perhaps
some prince will find it and go off in search of the right
umbrella.
Truly Yours,
NOTES FROM ABOVE GROUND FIVE
Dear Sir,
Because of the heat, they have taken us out of the fields
and have given us a break. That just seems to make the days
last longer, however, so the tedium is great. A couple of my
compatriots in boredom found a diversion for an afternoon.
One of those cats that are always hanging around caught a
mouse and was batting it around, the mouse would think it had
escaped when the cat would pounce and bat it around some more.
Anyway Gertie and Frieda stole the mouse away from the cat and
tied a cord to it's hind leg. Even though the poor thing was
dead, they proceeded to tease that cat with it, by dragging
that mouse back and forth in front of it. Well much to
Gertie and Freida's delight that old cat eventually ate that
mouse. No sooner did that cat get that mouse half way down,
when those girls started to pull on that string to retrieve
it. With much retching and wonderful gymnastics on that cats
part, up it came, slippery old mouse. Well to everyone’s joy,
that cat must have ate that mouse thirty times that day,
before the cord weakened and broke, and that poor creature of
a cat, slunk off, foaming at the mouth. It seems at times
like a higher power plays with us as did the girls with the
cat, or the cat with the mouse. Well after that even the
highlights of that day, HA, that week, seemed dreary. That
cat will think twice I bet, before it plays with it's food
again. At least in front of Gertie and Frieda. There is talk
that we might be getting new uniforms, not a moment too soon I
say, as mine is in tatters. There is also talk that they
might cut down on the medication. I guess all of our
incessant drooling is frightening off the customers. Well,
keep in touch,
Truly Yours,
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
LEANING TOWER OF ZIP
The city fathers wish to get rid of the tallest building in south dakota the zip feed mill so they raffeled off tickets and loaded it up with dynamite and a person was selected to press the button and with a lot of faanfare and great to dooo.. At one oclock saturday a great explosion was heard in the land, instead of imploding as planned, it just created another tourist attraction now called the leaning tower of zip
For a video of the attempted implosion, go HERE